Happy Effing Valentine's Day
by Sasuke Uzumaki 83
Summary: What the hell did Naruto want? It sure wasn't to eat ramen, Sasuke hated the stuff almost as much as his brother! But what happens when Naruto asks to be his valentine? And how does Sasuke respond? ONE-SHOT, NARUSASU, YAOI, SLIGHT CUSSING, VERY SHORT. :3


**A/N: **Hey, how're you all? Just a short NaruSasu fanfic for Valentine's. And, Remember, NARUSASU means UKE!SASUKE and SEME!NARUTO. I had a sucky valentine's day… hope yours was better than mine! Well… enjoy!

**Happy Fucking Valentine's Day**

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I walked back to Ichiraku's ramen stall where the blonde idiot of the village had so enthusiastically threatened to kill me if I didn't go to. So, not scared of him as much as I was curious as to what the dobe wanted, I walked into the stall, my eyes meeting the torturous equivalent of the sun on that blonde's head. I sat down next to the blonde, turning to face him and giving him a look that practically said 'what-the-hell-do-you-want?'.

Naruto turned to me and smiled a smile that was so fucking bright I almost had to look away so I didn't have to gag on the happy vibes that he was setting off. I dreaded coming as soon the words slipped past Naruto's lips.

"Hey Sasuke! Happy Valentine's Day!" Why did I come here?

"What the hell do you want, dobe?" I asked him rudely.

"Whoa! Watch the venom there! It's Valentine's Day! You should be in a good mood!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Why the hell should I be in a good mood?" I asked.

"…because it's Valentine's Day?" Naruto said as if it was obvious.

"What difference does it make? All that it does is give all of my creepy stalking fangirls a reason to gather up enough courage to ask me out. Let's not even go as far as my _fanboys._" I said, scowling at the events that had taken place earlier that day. "Haven't I already been tortured enough?"

"Aw, that sucks, Sasuke. Well, you should maybe consider taking up on someone's offer."

"I'm not looking for a relationship. Besides, they always end up in all that mushy High School drama movie crap, exactly what I don't want. Anyways, what's the point? If you care about someone to much, I, for one, think that it isn't healthy, and I'm pretty damn sure that I'm not the only one that views it as a weakness."

"Aw, Sasuke, well… at least consider taking one up, for me?" Naruto asked, giving me his puppy dog eyes that never worked on me, the only thing it did to me was ask myself about why the hell he even tried them when they always failed and that it made me want to slap him. Either that or puke on his face and make him drown in it.

…okay, that was only a _slightly_ disturbing image.

"Why are you so determined for me to get a lover?" I asked.

"Well…" Naruto trailed off, looking to the side.

"You know what, I don't like the subject. How about we get back on the paved road and not the rocky sides? Why did you want me here again?" I asked him.

"I was about to get to that…" Naruto told me straight forward, looking me in the eyes, deep blue looking into shallow obsidian. He seemed to loose his straightforwardness, looking to the side, avoiding any possible eye contact with me. He breathed out rather roughly, a sigh almost but it was a bit to loud. He looked back at me, but I noticed that he was looking over my head, still avoiding eye contact.

"If you have any balls and don't want an uprooted tree shoved up your ass, then I suggest that you make eye contact with me, because it creeps me out when you don't. It makes you look like you _have_ no balls." Naruto gulped loudly, probably an exaggerated gulp before looking me straight in the eyes again. The look he gave me made me squirm in my seat form the uneasiness that came from his eyes on me. I looked down, avoiding any eye contact with him.

"That's kind of hypocritical; you scold me about my eye contact, then when I actually do make eye contact with you, who's the one who looks away?" Naruto asked me.

"I just… I didn't like the look you were giving me." I mumbled.

"What didn't you like about it? Are you just scared that I'm being serious for once?" Naruto asked me jokingly, I looked up and was greeted with another one of those puke inducing smiles. I rolled my eyes.

"No, there was definitely an undertone to that look." I said.

"Well… maybe there was." Naruto said uncertainly. What the hell was he talking about?

"What the hell do you mean by that? …when the hell did we get off track again?" I asked. I was very unsure of the answer.

"Well… we're not off track anymore." Naruto reassured me.

"Yes we are, y-"

"Willyoubemyvalentine?" Naruto spit it out so fast that I couldn't understand him, cutting of the snide remark that I was about to make. "That's all I wanted to ask you, thought I'm pretty sure I know the answer…"

"Wait… slow down, I didn't understand." I said slowly so maybe a light bulb would finally go off in the dead-last's brain. Naruto gulped, he was visually uneasy, which made me uneasy. What was making him, the most… not… uneasy… person in the whole village uneasy, maybe even a little unsure of himself?

…And what did it have to do with me?

"Sasuke…" He gulped again. "Will… hehe…" He chuckled; I could tell that he was trying to get his balls back. Why would he do that when I was on the verge of castrating him with a kunai in my weapon pouch?

"What? Spit it out already, the cat couldn't possibly have your tongue, courtesy of it's death last week." I remarked rudely. What the hell did he want?

"Well, Sasuke, this isn't exactly as easy as 'say it or I'll castrate you' kind of thing… I just… Sasuke… I just… I just kind of… like you?" He gave me a look, a slightly embarrassed one.

"So, you want me to be your valentine?" I asked, clearing up my fogged vision of whatever the hell he was making. I guess his sense went down the drain along with his brain. To my surprise, he nodded. Why did he nod? Is that what he called me here for? To probably both of our surprise, I felt heat on my cheeks, feeling a light blush form onto my face. I don't blush! What was the meaning of this?

"Will you… will you be my valentine?" Naruto asked me quietly. I remained quiet. This wasn't a joke, was it? "You know what; I'll give you a chance to make up your mind. Let me know soon so if you accept maybe we could do something later…" He trailed off, planting a kiss on my lips and leaving in a hurry. I sat there, stunned. Little did I know that later that day I would be walking to Naruto's house, us walking with each other hand in hand, smiling and laughing.

…and that I wouldn't be able do sit on my ass for _probably_ the next _week and a half._

**A/N: **Love it? Hate it? Wanna commit suicide from the mushyness and shit from it? Great! Let me know! Because, you know, there's a button down there that I want you to press. Do we know what it says? I do. It says, 'Review on story', or something along the lines. REVIEW!

_**REVIEW!**_

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~Sasuke Uzumaki- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -I- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I

P.S.- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -V The button down there! V


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